Written by Matthew Caws and Daniel Lorca and released in May 1996 from Nada Surf's debut album High/Low, this song presents sarcastic advice to teenagers in spoken-word format, drawn from Gloria Winters's book Penny's Guide to Teen-Age Charm and Popularity. The single reached number 11 on the US Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart, topped Iceland's chart for two weeks, and earned a gold certification in France for sales over 250,000.